The aparted paths: Chapter 1

Try to hold it tight, it will fall off of your palm,

The more unbounded space you’ll give, the longer it will calm,

It? = Water, Trust, Love, and Person!

And it’s the end of the story after all,

From the silly love tale to the misery of the dark wall,

Everything has a certain end as you know it’s a protocol,

No matter whether it’s beautiful as a blossom or an unexpected Darkfall,

But doing the right or hate is your most difficult call,

Trusting “the one” you might think you have it all,

So lost in love that seems you’ll never get rid off,

Chameleon is the daring enough to show it’s varying colors to y’all,

But witnessing similar on the person you adore, is killing you more,

Be courageous enough to admit the truth hiding beside the wall,

Seeing it prior before it’s too late, is a blessing for you for sure…..

Ever Think Of Sexual Assault’s Victim Can Be A Man Too?

What is sexual assault?

Another term of this can be rape, sexual harassment, sexual violence, or non-consensual forcement of one to another, and are considered as a serious crime solely as served with various judicial charges. From a recent annual report of the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 33,356 rape cases are reported across India, about 92 a day. Out of these, 31,320 were committed by someone known to the victim (93.9% of the cases). India has been designated as one having the highest rape rate percentage from any other.

Are the women only victims of it?

The answer is truly a big NO. As per the recent percentage of the reported cases, crime against the men( or boys) is having a higher rate than women(or girls). Many NGOs people visit colleges, schools, institutions, or committees of urban and rural areas both to teach students and people about the difference between Good touch and Bad touch. They more focus on girls only, but being mentor they should let the people understand in the majority that the wrong can happen with any of them, but then they have to recognize the touch and if you find any kind of abuse or bad touch, then should directly tell to their teacher or parents or can share to who they trust to find the solution and take the serious action against the accused.

In the maximum cases, men and boys are the victims are scared of the accuser or if not then think that they might not be trusted by anyone because they are male, and the male is supposed to be strong, and things like bad touch can never happen to them. But it’s the harsh reality today that men get abused and they find it hard to get out of their condition in which they presently are. 

It has been seen that the perpetrators choose the victim’s weaknesses as to maintain the secrecy of the assault or by making them believe that they will not be believed and might get judged or may become subject of laughter. But then you need to stand out loud to prove that accuser wrong and let that person be punished for his crime.

Support the Survivors

If something like this happened to you, then you should know that you are not alone, but your people and the law got your back. The 1in6 helpline is available if any men in your known are seeking immediate help against the assault, NGOs like Action Aid India, the Majlis, and the Azad foundation are always available to listen and help you up. 

Always remember remaining silent is like watering the plant of crime against you.

To bear a crime is a crime itself.

Being sexually assaulted has nothing to do with your current or future sexual orientation. Your sexuality has no more to do with being raped than being robbed. There’s no means of being quiet but to fight back to attain your freedom and self-confidence. Think and shout!

Daughter-in-law being as Daugther: Negation in acceptance

Every girl especially in places like India has been taught that your in-law’s house is your real one. But do their in-laws allow their own house to be their home for girls? We are living in developed India now, where the state of mentality has been appreciably modernized, like hardly people believe in the dowry system now, considered their daughter-in-law as their own daughter, in-laws stand out more for their daughter-in-law more than their son sometimes, and many more. But there’s also subsists the harsh reality today, not everyone is that developed whether they looked from their appearances or outfits but having those creepy and narrow thoughts towards their daughter-in-law. Some are twisted when it comes to the comparison between their daughter and daughter-in-law.

Their daughter is allowed and independent to take decisions or to work outside, allowed to wear whatever she wants, can talk whoever she wants, but on another side, their daughter-in-law should know the boundaries, should take permission from husband or in-laws even if she wants to go out, she is supposed to be a homemaker so have to be in bars which are invisible totally, but do exist, and if by any mistake that boundary breaks, then the tag of the home breaker has been patched straight to her character or evermore.

Stop this

The girls have been taught that your in-laws will be your second parents, you will get more love and acceptance than ever, but what if she doesn’t even treat as a person with all rights or been beaten like an animal? During all the suffering, nobody thinks of her, or of her condition, because they don’t think it through, if a girl leaves their in-law’s house, it will become a subject of their shame. Girls have been advised to suffer like,” Don’t bother, its a part of life. Give some time to them, everything will come on a track soon, You’re brave and homemaker, not a big deal if you bear a bit!”. And by listening to this, some attempts to suicide, some are murdered by their in-laws or some are forced to die or some just think it better to leave that house. All the cases of domestic violence are seen leaving every 20 houses in the street. 

During these circumstances, parents are requested to take a vital and certain step instead of giving unnecessary advice to their daughters. They should report complain to the nearby police place or take their daughter back from those cold-blooded creatures. Many helpline are there if you seek help when nobody is helping you. Always remember to have faith and confidence in you, that will help you to bring the change because anyone can give you words but rare can offer a hand. Change comes within ourselves, so make the change and be the change.

It’s okay to be you sometimes….

In this crowd, everyone is in the queue to prove themselves, everyone is so eager to get fame, becoming rich, and proving them more prominent, by running in this race you forget to spend time with yourself rather than standing upon the expectations. You should give yourself the treat with doing nothing sometimes, to be let yourself who you are, eliminate all the clutter because if you’re in this world then they do have a mouth. You should know that it’s okay to be:

It is okay to be doing nothing.

It is okay to be doing nothing sometimes and spending time with yourself only. If you find time for yourself, then you might hear the voices of  complaints from others about what you’re doing, but then you have to know how to get yourself out from this.

It is okay to not to be okay.

It is okay to not to be okay sometimes, if you’d a recent breakup or felt hurt from something or feeling too low to do anything, that’s perfectly okay to stay sad for a while to drain out all the negativities and miseries stored on the moment, but living always with this is something not on the word. Take a restart from the break and conquer the world.

It is okay to be an average.

If you feel you’re so commoner and average to be an influencer or to think so much to do things or speak in front of others because you’re scared to be judged and worried about your impression, then relax, Its only you who can influence yourself or make your unique identity also being an average. If you’re an average and have confidence within you, then cheers, you’re all set to bring change.

It is okay if you don’t look good.

It is okay if you think that you don’t look good. It’s not you who think this, but the people who said those words or reacted weirdly towards you. No one can restrict you to reach your goals, no matter if you’re fat, dark, too tall, too short, thin, disable, or anything, nothing can stop you from achieving your goals if you’re determined, but the thing which can stop is listening to others who say bad for you and not yourself you’ll motivate you more.

It is okay if you fail.

Always remember, failure brings the experience, the experience of not repeating the mistakes, and learning something new. You might have planned further if you succeed, but many lost their hope if they fail and were scared to practice that again. The practice is only the key to perfection. We should always learn to set straight to our mind not to fear of failure anymore, but to practice and work smart and hard even if you succeed.

It is okay to be a mediocre.

It is okay to be a commoner if it soothes you and brings you happiness. Not every person wants to collect fame or to be rich, some also want to spend a stable and happy life with their family and their loved ones. Everyone has their unique way to cherish their lives and spend moments, Some like to collect them on their phones, some like to live every second of that.

It is okay to be you. If you love yourself the way you are then the best way is not to bother with clutter. Do every inch you which want to do, explore more, sleep all day, eat the fuck you want, sing along the shower, because life is one so as you, don’t be a robot or an always agreed child, but be you!

Lessons from past relationships: why do they fail?

Relationships do not fail, we fail them. Life is all about learning things, to come to the matter of togetherness. Setbacks and mistakes are part of life and way to success. We nowadays complain that love does not exist in today’s era, but it takes a special and only one person to fail us on this thought. But what if we fail in this too, what lessons we should learn from our failed relationships so that we do not make those mistakes further:

Trust but not blindly:

Trust is a way for every successful relationship until unless it is blind. You have seen many in relationships that one got betrayed because of their blind trust in their partner. One should keep a check on a random basis on their partner not to peep into their devices but to know with whom they are interacting. There is nothing wrong with that instead you will get to know what’s going in their life as we are more active on our social networks and devices.

Ask them what’s going in their life:

You should ask your partner if is everything going right? You should ask them about their life if they are facing any trouble, and if it is beautiful then how to make it more appreciable because a relationship is not only about your love life connected with your partner but also about sharing the happiness and problems.

Never impose your decisions

Being in a relationship, You always want our partner to do things which you like, and its embracing when they do that, but expecting this from them to leave all their thoughts and habits be get molded like you want them to be is right? Always respect their thoughts and decisions, their likings and way of living life, best understanding comes from here only.

Time and Communication is a key

No matter how busy you’re, if you cannot take out time from your schedule, if you can stay without hearing from your partner or similar in the case of your partner then its a wake-up call, priority of the person has been changed whether they claim it loud. If you’re facing the issues then sit back and communicate what’s lacking in between, how to resolve the situation. There’s nothing in a world that cannot be met with teamwork.

Never let the spark fades away:

You do numerous things to impress and to have that person in your life because you’re so convinced with their personality and nature, but what comes it to not seeing it into your relationship anymore. Why do you let the fire down between you both? Never stop putting efforts to make your partner special whether its been a decade passes of togetherness. If you’ll start taking efforts, everything will then come on the track, always remember small things brings great happiness. 

Be true to your partner:

Hiding things is similar to the deception. A relationship is a bond of trust and love, but when you start keeping things secret, it is the first step of betrayal. If you’ll be true to your partner always, share everything with them that you think they should know, leads to a happy and successful relationship is one of a kind.

Always respect your partner’s personal space:

If you’re in this world then you may have friends also, this also may imply on your partner, you cannot resist your partner not to talk to their friends and knowns just because you do not feel it right. You should respect the personal space of yours as well as your partners, there’s nothing to feel unsecured, if your partner or you still feel this, then let your partner introduce to your friends and chill together, this may help you out to build up trust again. 

Never let you partner feel unwanted or insecure:

Being in a relationship, if you or your partner still feels unwanted which hurts the most, then talk about what they feel about them now and also ask if they still want them? If they’re confused to be together, then listen to your intuition and leave instead of getting into the blame-game. And if they still want you then work on how to make this more beautiful.